I guess I'm losing interest in this whole "blogging" thing...

I'll try to make an entry every now and then...but dont count on it..ha

I'm gradually becoming more of a myspace person and am gonna try to start using the blog on it.

http://www.myspace.com/mistaabojangles

Check it out, biatches

-B

Currently Listening Corinne Bailey Rae By Corinne Bailey Rae see related

All I can say about the past week is this: exhausting.

In both the physical and mental sense, I'm ready to just catch up on sleep and for some sense of normalcy to return to my life.

Lots of papers, an F on my Stats exam, the start of intramural volleyball, deciding i'm going to dance this year, Glee Club retreat..shoo...i'm tired just thinking about all of this.

Retreat was a good time. I truly enjoy being around these guys. Hanging with pat, jonnyo, rothzeid, jared, and the new guys was great. I got to know some of the guys in my new guy class even better. BUT, the weekend was just busy. Rehearsing pretty much all day Saturday, sleeping on the floor (drumcorps style), and singing in 2 church services was tiring. The fact that I got ridiculously drunk on Friday night didnt help...oops. This weekend is Chorale retreat. The only bad part about being in both choirs is having back to back retreats.

Classes are good, obviously minus Stats. Going back to Vision will be good. I'm only doing 2 dances and NO choreography. I just needed some form of release and dance has always be that for me. Mergers, the new coed acappella group, is going well. Getting everyone to fully committ seems to be difficult, but we're working our way through our first song "Kissing You"  from the Romeo & Juliet soundtrack. Loves it.

On a completely different subject,

Things at home are gradually starting to calm down. Its almost been one year since my mother died, wow. Her estate has been pretty much settled, but not without bumps on the way. Its sad to say that now that shes gone, I've begun to see the true colors of many of my family members and the people she worked with. Honestly, it makes me sick to see my own grandparents take my dad to court over trivial issues. To see my mom's business partner of 13yrs attempt to cheat him out of the settlement. I have gained a new opinion on these people and lets just say...its not a good one. I know that theoretically youre supposed to love your family unconditionally. But right now, I just cant say that I do. Mom was the glue that held everyone together. The glue is gone and people are splitting their separate ways.

My dad said that I should talk to the family about how I feel. I'm almost 22 and my opinion should mean something. But I just dont know if I could call out my grandmother and aunt. Maybe a dose of reality could do them some good. We're all grieving, but there are certain things that family just shouldnt do.

*sigh*....sorry, just had to get that out....*breathes*

A Month Ago Today...

...I did my final drumcorps rehearsal

...I cleaned out my bus seat, loaded the equipment truck, and packed my suitcase for the last time

...I made my final bus announcements as the 2006 Bus Captain

...I heard "On the field, performing their 2006 program, PRIMAL FORCES, the Madison Scouts", for the final time

...I threw my last rifle tosses, did my final flag solo, and hit my ending pose for the last time

...I cried while looking into the audience of 24,000+ and leaving the field for the last time

...I sang "Never Walk" with my brothers for the last time, as a marching member.

...I held the hands and embraced my brothers, wishing for more time, but knowing I may never see some of them again

...I celebrated the season with my fellow alumni and friends

...I said goodbye to my brothers...no, to my best friends

I saw this posted on the myspace of a guy I marched with. I took his idea and doctored it for my feelings. I never thought about this being a month after I aged-out. Maybe I'm being too nostalgic, but I miss it.

My house FINALLY has internet!!!

Lots has been going on...lets see

Housemates are sweet.

Chorale/Club officially start tonight with our new members!! All the new people (at least the ones that I met) are really cool and will mix well with both groups. Being an officer in Chorale is gonna be very exciting and also a lot of work, but I'm ready for it.

The "victory lap" school year has started off well. No major traumas, no major class problems, should be somewhat smooth sailing.

Now onto some big things:

1) The recent plane crash in Lexington. WOW. Definetly rocked me world a little bit...and not in a good way. No one I knew was on the plane (they had later flights...including my dad). But thats my hometown and you cant help but feel attached. Seeing the airport and the surrounding ares on the news just made me nostalgic and verysad for those lost. Part of me couldnt turn the news off, the other part just wanted to go to Lexington and see what was going on. I live about 10min from the airport, my high school is down the road, thats where I grew up...I just felt a part of me hurt seeing all the trauma on the news.

2) The Madison Scouts have been a HUGE part of my life for the past 4yrs. I've learned sooo much about myself and have been taught by many great instructors. Recently, the board of directors fired the 2 directors that had been there since my rookie year. They brought me in and I learned how to be a Scout from them. Today, I read that the Brass Caption Heads, as well as the Caption heads from EVERY other section, along with several instructors, resigned. I'm utterly confused, angry, sad, and disappointed. Within a matter of weeks after I aged out from this group, it has done a COMPLETE 360...with no explanation or warning to the members. I can honestly say that I'm glad to have aged out. Personally, I dont if could handle a serious staff change like this. Every year has changes, but this has no precedent (at least while I was there).

To my brothers, still eligible to march, if you wanna talk I'm hear to listen. But here is my advice...Our corps song is "You'll Never Walk Alone". Remember the line "walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain, though your dreams be tossed and blown". Brothers...walk on. DONT give up on this corps. Even though the people that made us Scouts are gone, this new class of people will need all the veterans possible to set the example and instill into them all what being a Scout is. GO to November Camp....if its boonasty...THEN make your decision. I cant force you to do anything, but as someone who gave 4yrs of my life to this corps and now an alum, I hope you'll at least consider it.

All my love

MYNWA

Bsmith